Well, some time back, Aashish and I came up with our thesis on Bollywood! Right from 1970's retro cinema to 1990s' typically cliched Govinda-Kumar Gaurav-Vivek Mushran cinema! Read and enjoy!
1. PLOTS: 90% of the Bollywood movies are based on the following plots!
(i) Jaya and Raj are childhood friends. When they grow up, their friendship transforms into love. But their parents oppose their love. Will they stand up against everyone and the society?
(ii) Pooja, Rajat and Ramesh are best friends. Ramesh loves Pooja but Pooja loves Rajat. Rajat comes to know about Ramesh's love for Pooja. Will Rajat sacrifice his love for Ramesh??
(iii) Raj Singh and Jai Singh are FIERCE ENEMIES. Their children meet in college and start liking each other. They decide to marry against their family's wishes!
(iv) Two brothers grow up on the opposite side of law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion
We have also noted that there are some typical names given to certain characters in almost every Bollywood movie of the 90s
1. PLOTS: 90% of the Bollywood movies are based on the following plots!
(i) Jaya and Raj are childhood friends. When they grow up, their friendship transforms into love. But their parents oppose their love. Will they stand up against everyone and the society?
(ii) Pooja, Rajat and Ramesh are best friends. Ramesh loves Pooja but Pooja loves Rajat. Rajat comes to know about Ramesh's love for Pooja. Will Rajat sacrifice his love for Ramesh??
(iii) Raj Singh and Jai Singh are FIERCE ENEMIES. Their children meet in college and start liking each other. They decide to marry against their family's wishes!
(iv) Two brothers grow up on the opposite side of law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion
We have also noted that there are some typical names given to certain characters in almost every Bollywood movie of the 90s
The Businessman group
Mr. Singhania: He is usually the biggest and most influential businessman in the movie, usually who funds crime under the table, and NONE of the police force realises till the end that he is a villain.
Chopra saab: He is the next level of businessman after Mr Singhania. A friend and usually a lesser business partner of Singhania, and the heroines father.
NOW, CHOPRA AND SINGHANIA HAVE 3 FRIENDS (no less, no more, yes its true)
1)Comissioner Roy: he is the head of police and a VERY good friend of Chopra and/or Singhania. Depending on the situation, he is either corrupt to the core or a true patriotic policeman who doesnt know of Singhania's plan. He is usually flanked by constables Pandey and Gaonkar.
2) Dr. Majumdar: He is usually Chopras friend. He is included in the movie only because there is always an accident in which his expert advice and presence is needed. He is a true friend, and is NEVER aware of the plot of the villains. He is a kind, old balding person (you get the picture), who cares for the heroine deeply.
3)Lawyer Tyrewala/Patel: Usually a friend of Singhania exclusively. And here is the freaky part: If he is Tyrewala, he is honest, but if he is Patel, he advises Singhania on all that is evil and unseen. He also fights Singhania's case in the inevitable court scene and always wins! His motto is always "main jhooth ko sach, aur sach ko jhooth mein badal sakta hoon".
Chopra saab: He is the next level of businessman after Mr Singhania. A friend and usually a lesser business partner of Singhania, and the heroines father.
NOW, CHOPRA AND SINGHANIA HAVE 3 FRIENDS (no less, no more, yes its true)
1)Comissioner Roy: he is the head of police and a VERY good friend of Chopra and/or Singhania. Depending on the situation, he is either corrupt to the core or a true patriotic policeman who doesnt know of Singhania's plan. He is usually flanked by constables Pandey and Gaonkar.
2) Dr. Majumdar: He is usually Chopras friend. He is included in the movie only because there is always an accident in which his expert advice and presence is needed. He is a true friend, and is NEVER aware of the plot of the villains. He is a kind, old balding person (you get the picture), who cares for the heroine deeply.
3)Lawyer Tyrewala/Patel: Usually a friend of Singhania exclusively. And here is the freaky part: If he is Tyrewala, he is honest, but if he is Patel, he advises Singhania on all that is evil and unseen. He also fights Singhania's case in the inevitable court scene and always wins! His motto is always "main jhooth ko sach, aur sach ko jhooth mein badal sakta hoon".
The Hero's group
The Hero: His name is ALWAYS something Kapoor or something Bhatia. Usually it is Raj, Rahul or Prem. He is the perfect human being, no flaw at all,and usually hails from a poor and opressed family, who is wronged by Singhania, as his dead father either worked for Singhania and found out a bit too much about him, or was Singhania's friend who was no longer useful to the businessman.
Hero's Sister: She usually gets kidnapped, or implicated in some other way, so as to demoralize the hero. The open criminals play a huge part in her distress, with Singhania helping only a bit. Her name is usually Tina, Meena or Sheetal.
Hero's Childhood friend: Depending on the hero's name, it can also be Raj, Rahul, but its usually 'lesser' names like Rajiv, Rajat, Vivek, Ganesh, Narendra or Rajeev. His part is only to blindly stay by the hero's side.
Hero's Informant: He may be a paanwalla, small-time crook-turned-good, beggar, or whatever, but his name is ALWAYS Abdul, no questions asked. At some point in the movie, he succeeds in infiltrating the criminal gang, is found out and is either killed, or he returns to the hero in a sorry state, serving to further fuel the heros hatred against the villains.
Hero's Sister: She usually gets kidnapped, or implicated in some other way, so as to demoralize the hero. The open criminals play a huge part in her distress, with Singhania helping only a bit. Her name is usually Tina, Meena or Sheetal.
Hero's Childhood friend: Depending on the hero's name, it can also be Raj, Rahul, but its usually 'lesser' names like Rajiv, Rajat, Vivek, Ganesh, Narendra or Rajeev. His part is only to blindly stay by the hero's side.
Hero's Informant: He may be a paanwalla, small-time crook-turned-good, beggar, or whatever, but his name is ALWAYS Abdul, no questions asked. At some point in the movie, he succeeds in infiltrating the criminal gang, is found out and is either killed, or he returns to the hero in a sorry state, serving to further fuel the heros hatred against the villains.
The Policeman Group
Apart from the COmissioner mentioned earlier, there are others in the police force.
DCP Saxena: He plays a very minor role in the movie, and is usually the first person to find out about the corruption of Singhania and if the Comissioner is included.
Inspector Khanna: He is the Ideal Police Officer. Honest, fast thinker, and a great detective. He is ALWAYS related in some way or the other to the Hero's family. He is the one who makes the eventual arrest of the villains, otr fires the last shot, whatever may be the case.
Inspector Kelkar: He is the total opposite of Khanna, and is holding his post due to influence of the criminal gang over the police force. Corrupt to the core. His role varies from being only a side character to the main reason of the failiure of all the police missions.
There are more constables and officers, but they are NEVER pivotal roles.
SOME MORE RULES: This has been taken from a source...but the above article is completely made by Aashish Vasudevan and Kanhaiya Maheshwary
2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
DCP Saxena: He plays a very minor role in the movie, and is usually the first person to find out about the corruption of Singhania and if the Comissioner is included.
Inspector Khanna: He is the Ideal Police Officer. Honest, fast thinker, and a great detective. He is ALWAYS related in some way or the other to the Hero's family. He is the one who makes the eventual arrest of the villains, otr fires the last shot, whatever may be the case.
Inspector Kelkar: He is the total opposite of Khanna, and is holding his post due to influence of the criminal gang over the police force. Corrupt to the core. His role varies from being only a side character to the main reason of the failiure of all the police missions.
There are more constables and officers, but they are NEVER pivotal roles.
The Criminal group
The Don: He ALWAYS has some forceful, hard-hitting name like 'Zaffar Khan' or 'Feroze Supari'. He is a known villain (unlike Singhania), but is never caught due to his influence. Only the hero is able to get him in the end. He has limitless funds and numerous faceless goons ready to die for him.
His Bodyguard: The Bodyguard is ALWAYS a foreigner. If he is white, his name is Mark, Rocky or Jackie, and if he is negroid, his name is Martin. he talks using grunts and his fists. Occasionally gets trigger-happy. Beats the Hero to a pulp on the latter's first and always unsuccessful attempt to get even with the crime boss.
The middlemen are never mentioned, only the lowest level 'gangs' are. They are:
The Blue Panther gang and The Black Cobra gang.
Lower-level members of the crime syndicate are named Rizwan, sohail and Abbas.
Here are some of the most commonly used dialogues...in the typical movies of the 80s and 90s..
Heroine to Villain: Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do...
Police to criminal: Ab tumhara khel khatam
Low class criminal on phone to his Boss: Boss, Maal pakda gaya! Woh inspector Rajat ne hamara bahut nuksaan kara diya!
Hero to Heroine: Maine shayad pehle kahin tumhe dekha hai
or
Hero To Heroine: Pata nahi kyun, par aisa lag raha hai ki main tujhe saalon se jaanta hoon
Heroine to Hero after some misconception: Mujhe pehle hi samajh jaana chahiye tha ki tum mere se nahi, meri daulat se pyaar karte ho...
Hero to Villain [towards the movies end, when the villain is about to die]: Main tujhe chhod deta Ram Singh, par meri maa ke maut ka badla leke hi mujhe chain milega!
Hero to Heroine/Heroine to Hero: Main tumhare bina marr jaunga/jaungi
or
Main tumhare bina nahi jee sakta/sakti
Anyone[who loses in the end] to Anyone[who wins in the end]: Tum shayad jaante nahi ki tum kisse baat kar rahe ho...
His Bodyguard: The Bodyguard is ALWAYS a foreigner. If he is white, his name is Mark, Rocky or Jackie, and if he is negroid, his name is Martin. he talks using grunts and his fists. Occasionally gets trigger-happy. Beats the Hero to a pulp on the latter's first and always unsuccessful attempt to get even with the crime boss.
The middlemen are never mentioned, only the lowest level 'gangs' are. They are:
The Blue Panther gang and The Black Cobra gang.
Lower-level members of the crime syndicate are named Rizwan, sohail and Abbas.
Here are some of the most commonly used dialogues...in the typical movies of the 80s and 90s..
Heroine to Villain: Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do...
Police to criminal: Ab tumhara khel khatam
Low class criminal on phone to his Boss: Boss, Maal pakda gaya! Woh inspector Rajat ne hamara bahut nuksaan kara diya!
Hero to Heroine: Maine shayad pehle kahin tumhe dekha hai
or
Hero To Heroine: Pata nahi kyun, par aisa lag raha hai ki main tujhe saalon se jaanta hoon
Heroine to Hero after some misconception: Mujhe pehle hi samajh jaana chahiye tha ki tum mere se nahi, meri daulat se pyaar karte ho...
Hero to Villain [towards the movies end, when the villain is about to die]: Main tujhe chhod deta Ram Singh, par meri maa ke maut ka badla leke hi mujhe chain milega!
Hero to Heroine/Heroine to Hero: Main tumhare bina marr jaunga/jaungi
or
Main tumhare bina nahi jee sakta/sakti
Anyone[who loses in the end] to Anyone[who wins in the end]: Tum shayad jaante nahi ki tum kisse baat kar rahe ho...
SOME MORE RULES: This has been taken from a source...but the above article is completely made by Aashish Vasudevan and Kanhaiya Maheshwary
2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
